Let Go
by Jeyfeather1234
Summary: The afterlife is a peaceful place for most souls after death. For Lucille it's simply a prison. Souls are prohibited from interfering with mortals and that means that she has no way of contacting her beloved husband. But, she decides to break that rule and it costed her Negan's sanity.


Angelica McCoy watched as her sister trudged through the grass and sighed. "She's been like this for a long time," she said to her friends who nodded in agreement. "I wish we could help her."

"You know the rules," one of her friends said. "Spirits can't interfere with mortals unless necessary."

"Lucille will be so heartbroken when Negan dies. They won't be able to see each other again," another friend said. "It's so sad to see star crossed lovers like this."

"Hush, Elizabeth. You know that Lucille doesn't like it when you say that," Angelica scolded and frowned at her.

"Oh, right. But it's true you know," Elizabeth murmured and went over to gently tug on Lucille's dress to get her attention. The blonde woman looked up at the other spirits sadly and blinked at them.

"Oh, hello ladies," she said quietly. "How've you been?"

"Fine," Angelica replied. "We've been noticing that you've been...well, gloomy lately. What's troubling you?"

"Oh you know," Lucille murmured and twirled a little. "The usual stuff...and things."

"Stuff and things," the other spirit echoed. "That makes no sense at all."

"Regina!" Elizabeth said angrily. "Respect!" Regina shrugged and knelt down to pick up a little mouse and caressed its head.

"Lucille, you can't keep moping around all day," Angelica said and rested a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Negan won't die soon. He still has...what, fourty more years to live? He'll be fine."

"No, he won't be fine. Never has been, never will be," Lucille mumbled and lowered her head. "Michonne wants to kill him. I don't want that."

"Of course not dear," Angelica said and hugged her. "He's your husband."

"Correction, he _was_ your husband," Regina interrupted. "Now he's a womanizer."

"Regina, please," Angelica sighed. "Not in front of Lucille."

"No, no, she's...she's right," Lucille said sadly. "He's not mine anymore. Besides, it's not like he'll even recognize me if I went down to see him."

"Of course he would dear," Elizabeth assured her. "I'm sure he misses you very much." Lucille didn't respond and instead pushed Angelica away from her. The trio watched in silence as she walked away from them sadly with her head down. Angelica sighed and followed her to a small clearing where they watched the children chase each other in the flower field. "We used to do that," Lucille murmured quietly.

"Hmm?"

"We used to chase each other in the barley fields when we were younger. I wonder if he remembers that."

"I'm sure he does."

"Did you know that he cries himself to sleep at night? He always does when he's alone at night. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and looks for me. Other times he writes at three in the morning in a little journal. I've seen some of them and...oh, he's such a wonderful writer. You must see his work. His writings are so beautiful you know. That's one of the reasons why I married him."

"Why no, I didn't know those things."

"He misses me. I know he does."

"I never said that he didn't," Angelica said and looked at her sister.

"The others think so. Do you think he can change? I hope Rick doesn't do something terrible to him," Lucille said and sighed. "I want to see him again."

"You can't. It's against the rules," Angelica said and shook her head. "I'm sorry Luce, it's just how it is. Besides, you don't know how your visit could affect him."

"Yes I do! He'll be happy to see me!" Lucille said angrily. "I know he will."

"Or it could just make him even more insane," and her sister glared at her.

"I'll prove it!" Lucille said and lifted her chin before storming off.

"No wait!" Angelica pleaded. "You'll be punished if you do such a thing!" But it was already too late. Lucille was already out of sight.

* * *

"I told you," Angelica said as she and her sister watched Negan's descent into madness. "I told you he'd go insane." Lucille was silent for a moment.

"I...I don't understand," she said in a trembling voice. "I thought that I could help him. Now he's..."

"A madman," Angelica finished. "I warned you but you didn't listen. You didn't heed my warning." Lucille didn't respond and walked away in silence leaving Angelica alone to watch over her crazed lover. "The fates are cruel," she murmured to herself as she watched Negan isolate himself in a cell and laugh maniacally while clawing at the cement. His mood suddenly changed to panic and he looked like a wild animal trapped in a cage desperately trying to escape its prison. Angelica sensed an unwanted presence in the cell. It was a dark, chaotic spirit that had infected Negan's mind with insanity. There was nothing she could do now. There wasn't a way to save him from the hell he was in. If Rick didn't kill him soon, then he'd probably kill himself. If that happened, Angelica would have to keep it a secret. She couldn't tell Lucille. She'd be devastated if she heard about that. Angelica sighed and tapped the water surface so it rippled and changed to a different scene. One that was less depressing and more happy was what she needed right now. "Oh, Negan," she murmured to herself. "You're only hurting yourself."


End file.
